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Devils cook up wins versus Diamondbacks

By Tom Jalana
for TJSN.com

Published: July 28, 2009

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It seemed like nothing the Diamondbacks did could prepare them for the trip that the Devils had in store for them. Feeling the heat from the weather and their pitching the Devils swung open the door to Hell’s Kitchen and rolled out the red carpet to greet them. Stifled in game one by the pitching of Mike Sabatini, (the love child of Orlando ‘El Duque’ Hernandez) the Diamondbacks continued to struggle getting runs across the plate. They had their chance in the 5th inning when after hitting a batter to load the bases with no outs, the Diamondbacks bats went south and the Devils managed to escape the inning unscathed. After that it seemed like the game would never end, proving to be a drawn out affair thanks in part to Sabatini, also known as “The Human Rain Delay” by many umpires in the SSWBL because of his painstaking walk to second base and back to the mound. “What is he doing out there, praying to Buddha?” – The home plate umpire. “ “I am not sure who works faster sometimes, Sabatini or the Maytag Repairman, but if his pitches had as much of a break as the time in between when he throws them we all could get to work on time the next day. I rather watch paint dry”– Joe Hurckes (Head Umpire)

Game Two started off great for the D-backs with the bats pounding the Devils like a chef would tenderize a steak. Don Myczek put on a hitting clinic with a triple and single and Jim Cesak continued his comeback at the plate by clubbing a double. Nevertheless, bad luck continued into the second game, like an overcooked scallop the game was decided by the rubber. The Diamondbacks were up by a 4-0 lead, even with players leaving after the first game and missing their main pitcher, only to squander the lead and lose it in the bottom of the last inning. Matt Flavin who was mildly injured came and tried his best to pitch the Diamondbacks way out of it, but fell short in the last three batters. This left Coach Joe Cipolla sounding like a Gordon Ramsey impersonator. “What the ~!@#$%^&* where you thinking?” Piss off you Wanker! “I got the Raw Dog, it wasn’t supposed to happen this way, and maybe Coach should have switched the rotation earlier,” said Flavin referring to Coach Joe putting him after Eddie Milas instead of before. Whatever the case, the Diamondbacks have fallen to below .500 and it has everyone shaking their heads. “It seems like when the Devils come into town, everything goes to Hell and a hand basket,” said Kevin Sterk.

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