Jalana Under Investigation by FCC

By Tom Jalana
for TJSN.com

Published: July 5, 2005

It was learned on Sunday evening from a disclosed source (Joe Cippola) that famous newsman Tom Jalana is being investigated by the FCC for allegedly writing character decimating literature about the SSWBL Cubs. Sources say that a lawsuit may be filed as early as Tuesday morning because of court-delayed paperwork. No comment has been made from Mr. Jalana at this time, although colleagues had some things to say.

“In all my years of knowing Tom, I know he would not try to hurt anyone, He doesn’t have an ounce of arsenic in his ink”. – J. Jonah Jameson. “Serves him right, that blasted Janala, always stealing my stories, maybe they should break his nose”. – Geraldo Rivera. “All I have to say is Tom tells it like he sees it” – Lou Grant. As for myself, I have never seen Mr. Jalana assassinate anyone’s character, although I was wrong about that Hobbs guy being washed up, I new I had seen him before.

If indicted, Mr. Jalana could face stiff fines and censorship, including limited stories on SSWBL baseball and the Evergreen Park Diamondbacks. Mr. Jalana’s attorney had this to say. “We will fight this all the way to the highest court possible, even if a Kangaroo is Judge” – Peter Francis Geracci. If this gets too large, Mr. Geracy said he will seek the help of Briskman and Briskman, and Barry R. Rabovsky. Even famous attorney Jackie Childs has lent some legal advice “If the ink doesn’t match the print, you must acquit.”

Whatever happens will definitely change the course of news reporting in the future. “It’s bad enough we speak the truth as much as possible, but now this. It makes it bad for the honest news guy trying to make a living”. – The Onion.

Hopefully this will all blow over and we can get back to the hard-edge news that we are used to hearing.

Share with friends! You know you want to!

Tagged with: FCC, Joe Cipolla, Tom Jalana

Speak Out

Jalana Under Investigation by FCC

Speak Out

TJSN Latest